Sylvia's...ain't it a beach

So I promised I would report on our stay at the Sylvia Beach Hotel in Newport. This well-known Bed and Breakfast is located right smack on the beach in Central Oregon. It is a historic building…an old, old hotel that has been transformed into a retreat for book lovers and those who can lose themselves for hours and hours reading……

Every room in the hotel is named after a famous author, food is served in the “Tables of Content” dining room, and there is a resident cat. There are no televisions, no radios, no, phones, no pool, no pets…they ain’t got no cigarettes………..I kid you not. The idea is to get away from all the noise and stress of everyday life and just relax, read, eat, do puzzles, play board games, read, walk on the beach, read, and then read.

We thought it sounded really interesting, especially since we were booked into the F. Scott Fitzgerald room. Did I mention that reading is the popular pastime at this particular B & B? That, and being really earthy and environmental and stuff. Now, I love to read. I could read for hours on end. I also like to work crossword puzzles, so this sounded like just the ticket for us.

What we didn’t count on was the fact that the hotel hasn’t been updated in probably 20 or 30 years. We also didn’t count on the fact that our hosts didn’t seem to care that the place was really not so much charming as it was……….well, just shabby.

We opened the door to our room and walked smack into a room that smelled like the linen closet at a nursing home….and that was just the beginning! The furniture in the big reading room was a bunch of old mismatched chairs with lumpy cushions and couches with broken backs and smelly upholstery…lots of lamps, but the ratty old lampshades were pretty scary…

You know how when you go away for a romantic getaway the bed can play an important part in the festivities? Well, this bed had an old spring mattress that “sproinged” every time we touched it…and get this! The footboard had been nailed to a big old board which was attached to the mattress frame….and the headboard was just sitting against the wall!!!! Think of every joke/gag you have ever seen or heard in the movies about noises in a hotel room (especially having to do with headboards). Add to that image the idea that the walls were so paper thin we could hear the woman next door reading her book aloud to her roomie! Did I mention that reading is very popular at this place? Anyway, she did voices and everything, but we couldn’t quite make out the book….Now, in spite of these downsides, we actually enjoyed our stay. We began to imagine how we would redo the place. I mean, think of it. If the only thing about the room that conjured up F. Scott Fitzgerald was a shelf with 3 bottles of gin and a bunch of his books and letters, there’s nowhere to go but up, right? Although, the wall sink in the middle of the room was quite an interesting touch, I must say….

The good news is that breakfast was included with the room. The bad news is that meals are served “family style” so you can get to know the other guests. If you choose to have dinner at the hotel, you will find yourself seated with 6 other guests playing games like “Two Truths and a Lie.” It may surprise you to learn that Mark and I don’t exactly jump at the chance to participate in that sort of social activity. But we don’t. So we ate breakfast in the dining room but took our meals at some other wonderful restaurants….we had great food and even greater company…each other.

The weather was gloriously warm and clear on Saturday and Sunday. During Sunday night a squall came up with winds that shook the old building and rattled the windows. A few shingles even blew off the roof…and the rain poured. It was fantastic!!! We could see the ocean waves from our bed and we were able to watch the storm rage…it was awesome!

Turns out my boss, Nader and his wife Martha spent their honeymoon there some 15 years ago and they go back every year on their anniversary………..but if you ever decide to spend a weekend in Newport, Oregon, be sure you know what you’re getting into before you rent a room at the Sylvia Beach Hotel….OR just win some money on your way there and you won’t care a bit about anything else!!! Trust me…