Sylvia's...ain't it a beach

So I promised I would report on our stay at the Sylvia Beach Hotel in Newport. This well-known Bed and Breakfast is located right smack on the beach in Central Oregon. It is a historic building…an old, old hotel that has been transformed into a retreat for book lovers and those who can lose themselves for hours and hours reading……

Every room in the hotel is named after a famous author, food is served in the “Tables of Content” dining room, and there is a resident cat. There are no televisions, no radios, no, phones, no pool, no pets…they ain’t got no cigarettes………..I kid you not. The idea is to get away from all the noise and stress of everyday life and just relax, read, eat, do puzzles, play board games, read, walk on the beach, read, and then read.

We thought it sounded really interesting, especially since we were booked into the F. Scott Fitzgerald room. Did I mention that reading is the popular pastime at this particular B & B? That, and being really earthy and environmental and stuff. Now, I love to read. I could read for hours on end. I also like to work crossword puzzles, so this sounded like just the ticket for us.

What we didn’t count on was the fact that the hotel hasn’t been updated in probably 20 or 30 years. We also didn’t count on the fact that our hosts didn’t seem to care that the place was really not so much charming as it was……….well, just shabby.

We opened the door to our room and walked smack into a room that smelled like the linen closet at a nursing home….and that was just the beginning! The furniture in the big reading room was a bunch of old mismatched chairs with lumpy cushions and couches with broken backs and smelly upholstery…lots of lamps, but the ratty old lampshades were pretty scary…

You know how when you go away for a romantic getaway the bed can play an important part in the festivities? Well, this bed had an old spring mattress that “sproinged” every time we touched it…and get this! The footboard had been nailed to a big old board which was attached to the mattress frame….and the headboard was just sitting against the wall!!!! Think of every joke/gag you have ever seen or heard in the movies about noises in a hotel room (especially having to do with headboards). Add to that image the idea that the walls were so paper thin we could hear the woman next door reading her book aloud to her roomie! Did I mention that reading is very popular at this place? Anyway, she did voices and everything, but we couldn’t quite make out the book….Now, in spite of these downsides, we actually enjoyed our stay. We began to imagine how we would redo the place. I mean, think of it. If the only thing about the room that conjured up F. Scott Fitzgerald was a shelf with 3 bottles of gin and a bunch of his books and letters, there’s nowhere to go but up, right? Although, the wall sink in the middle of the room was quite an interesting touch, I must say….

The good news is that breakfast was included with the room. The bad news is that meals are served “family style” so you can get to know the other guests. If you choose to have dinner at the hotel, you will find yourself seated with 6 other guests playing games like “Two Truths and a Lie.” It may surprise you to learn that Mark and I don’t exactly jump at the chance to participate in that sort of social activity. But we don’t. So we ate breakfast in the dining room but took our meals at some other wonderful restaurants….we had great food and even greater company…each other.

The weather was gloriously warm and clear on Saturday and Sunday. During Sunday night a squall came up with winds that shook the old building and rattled the windows. A few shingles even blew off the roof…and the rain poured. It was fantastic!!! We could see the ocean waves from our bed and we were able to watch the storm rage…it was awesome!

Turns out my boss, Nader and his wife Martha spent their honeymoon there some 15 years ago and they go back every year on their anniversary………..but if you ever decide to spend a weekend in Newport, Oregon, be sure you know what you’re getting into before you rent a room at the Sylvia Beach Hotel….OR just win some money on your way there and you won’t care a bit about anything else!!! Trust me…

What happens at the beach stays at the beach...

So Mark and I went to the Coast for the weekend. Not the beach, the Coast. North Oregon is the beach. Central Oregon is the Coast. We haven't gone away together by our ownselves in almost ten years. Hard to believe, I know, but true. Because we don't share weekends off work, its a scheduling thing. One, or the other, or both of us have to take vacation days...this time Mark took Saturday and I took Monday and we were off like Bally Riddle's hair!
Mark made meticulous...and that is the word I want to emphasize..Meticulous...arrangements for the entire weekend. Several days I ago the thought came to me that I wanted to visit one of the Tribal Casinos so newly popular in Oregon. As soon as I said the words aloud, Mark was all over a plan to visit Chinook Winds Casino in Lincoln City...but when I didn't pursue the idea, he didn't think I really wanted to go until Monday when I asked him what we were doing for our beach weekend..with just four days to put together the perfect romantic weekend, he really outdid himself....damn near gave himself an anal retentive ulcer, but boy, did he make it happen...

Like most lounges around the country, the casino showroom "headlines" the circuit of B-list performers and acts still making the rounds and this particular weekend featured a favorite comedian, Bill Engvall...apparently we weren't the only Oregonians who wanted "Our Sign." Turns out, the show had been sold out for months, so we didn't get to see him, but we didn't care because we were booked into a room at the Sylvia Beach Hotel in Newport...but wait...I'm getting ahead of myself.

WELL! Even though he had everything planned to down to the minute, Mark spent a sleepless night before we left...he worried that if things didn't go exactly according the his schedule, he might not be able to flex...and more than anything, he wanted to be flexible this weekend...

Flexible he was, and it was a DEE-lightful time! The highlight reel will show us driving through some of the most beautiful scenery in the Northwest with a Saturday morning breakfast stop at Alice's Country Restaurant just outside Tillamook (yes, the cheese)...you know, one of those "side of the road" places you see when you are hurrying to McDonald's....greatest breakfast ever!! Ever..no kidding.

Now, I didn't realize Mark's carefully detailed itinerary put our stop at the casino on Monday during our return trip. After a quick look-see at the Chinook Winds golf course, I insisted that we stop NOW at the gambling hall. Taking a deep breath, Mark decided to be flexible...we stopped.
Now, this could be a very long story...and it is...but the short version simply tells of a dufus middle aged couple who had never been into a gaming establishment...What, never? No, never...is there anything more awkward than a couple of old rubes?? I'm thinking not....but a very nice floor attendant patiently explained exactly what we needed to do to quickly lose our money...and with $7 (yes, exactly seven dollars) in quarters, we were ready to rumble! Since we had to exchange our quarters for dollar bills in order to feed the video poker machines, we went all out and got an even $10....Clutching the bills, we searched the rows and rows of nickel machines until we found the most secluded, loneliest machine in the place. I didn't want a bunch of seasoned players eyeing us with disdain and whispering "Rookies!" under their breath...We fed our first dollar and right off the bat, when the first game ended we were up thirty cents!! Woohoo...Flush with winnings, we fed another dollar bill and went "all in." We played all 20 lines with 5 credits per line..if you understand what that means, glory go with ya, cuz it was Greek to us....we just pushed random buttons, sat back, and watched as the lights, sounds, and glory of a JACKPOT flashed before our eyes...Yes, folks...we hit a jackpot! One dollar + one machine + no clue = WINNER! No one, and I mean NO ONE has ever been more stunned than we were...dumb, dumb beginner's luck!!! We were open mouthed idiots staring at the message on the screen to "Please call the attendant." Two nice ladies came and verified, certified, and legitimized our win...brought us cash..CASH! They congratulated us and commented that we were, indeed, lucky...and all we could think was......"We're outta here!!"

Of course, since we literally had nothing to lose, we played the remaining eight dollars, came up with $3 more in winings and immediatly cashed out and walked out!

We decided right then and there that the theme of our trip was not "Flexiblity is the Key" but was instead, "Thank you Chinook Winds." Even though we couldn't get into the Bill Engvall show, we still had a good time at the Casino..................

Now, lest you think that's the only thing to tell you about our weekend....stay tuned. Tomorrow I will tell you about the Sylvia Beach Bed and Breakfast........it's gonna take awhile..............